...5...4....3....2....1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!! *fireworks*
Can't believe another year has come and gone. Another 525,600 minutes spent and never to be retrieved again. I remember exactly one year ago today I was in church for the Watchnite service(naturally). My close friend and ex-colleague, Bee was back and so were a lot of old friends I haven’t seen for a long time. Was so excited to see her and made an appointment to meet up so that we could catch up with each other the next day together with the “5 sisters”.
Fast forward a year later, I’m in church for the Watchnite service again with the “fireworks” from the keyboard going off at the opportune time. After reflecting for the year gone by, here I am deciding whether to move on to another church. Part of the reason was because I felt I wasn’t growing much in the church and the fellowship of other believers who share my passion for studying the Word deeply was sadly lacking. The other part of the reason was because I felt that some of the members couldn’t accept me as I am. Sadness incarnate.
I think 2005 has been an extremely difficult but quick year for me. Here I am, only one month old in my job and trying very hard to adjust myself to the system as well as coping with the workload. On the other side, there I was serving in the various ministries in church and trying to coordinate the meetings and logistics during the absence of the cell group leader(which was most part of the year)…and to add to that, trying to resolve the personal tension and conflicts between some members of the church.
To add salt to wound, my good intentions were misunderstood and deemed as “wanting to do it my way” or “being difficult”. Some wanted me to ‘change’ because I don’t ‘share my thoughts enough’ or because they think I am ‘unapprochable’. The funny thing is, the people who work with me 9 hours a day, 5 days a week or my close friends, don’t seem to agree with those statements. It’s only those people who only see me a few hours, once or twice a week who made comments like that. So who’s right here?
My personal point of view, I think this is just a clash of personality differences. We all are a little uncomfortable with people who are different from us and so we start all these pygmalion projects on others. Being an INFJ, my basic makeup as an introvert is something that I can't change. My quietness is not an expression of coldness but of my sincerity and seriousness of purpose. Usually when I am quiet, that means my mind is busy at work. My withdrawal from people is not because I am stuck up but rather a necessary escape valve for me, providing both time to rebuild my depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which I am so susceptible to.
I know one trait that is easily misunderstood by those who don’t really know me is that I am often unable to either hide or articulate any distress I may be feeling. Some may get irritated over my unexplained moodiness or as some call it ‘sulking’, only because I may be going through some personal problem which I ‘didn’t want to burden anyone with’. But those who are close to me usually takes the initiative to find out what’s the problem. Though some of them advise me that I should speak out….but then again, I can’t be telling everyone my problems right? Gosh, that would even make things more depressing!
I was actually reading this personality description of Eleanor Roosevelt …and I can like so identify with her. At least I know I am not alone in this world, though there’s only 1% of this personality type, making us the most rare of all types and typically difficult to understand.
Actually there is a theory devised by some INFJs on the ‘warm fuzzy teddybear’ feel that surrounds some of the introverted intuitives. This is how others usually see the INs:
INFJ – cold on outside, warm and fuzzy on the inside
INFP – warm and fuzzy inside and out
INTP – warm on the outside, hard as a rock inside
INTJ – cold and hard inside and out
It's worth mentioning since these observations seem to carry merit, but of course you have to remember that this theory doesn't necessarily apply to all or even most INs. If some of you are curious to find out what type of personality you are, you can take the Myer-Briggs test which although is not foolproof, is one of the quite accurate ones that I’ve tried.
Lastly, 2005 will also be remembered as the year I started blogging. A great innovation for us INFJs since our self-expression comes more easily on paper…or rather in writing!
Can't believe another year has come and gone. Another 525,600 minutes spent and never to be retrieved again. I remember exactly one year ago today I was in church for the Watchnite service(naturally). My close friend and ex-colleague, Bee was back and so were a lot of old friends I haven’t seen for a long time. Was so excited to see her and made an appointment to meet up so that we could catch up with each other the next day together with the “5 sisters”.
Fast forward a year later, I’m in church for the Watchnite service again with the “fireworks” from the keyboard going off at the opportune time. After reflecting for the year gone by, here I am deciding whether to move on to another church. Part of the reason was because I felt I wasn’t growing much in the church and the fellowship of other believers who share my passion for studying the Word deeply was sadly lacking. The other part of the reason was because I felt that some of the members couldn’t accept me as I am. Sadness incarnate.
I think 2005 has been an extremely difficult but quick year for me. Here I am, only one month old in my job and trying very hard to adjust myself to the system as well as coping with the workload. On the other side, there I was serving in the various ministries in church and trying to coordinate the meetings and logistics during the absence of the cell group leader(which was most part of the year)…and to add to that, trying to resolve the personal tension and conflicts between some members of the church.
To add salt to wound, my good intentions were misunderstood and deemed as “wanting to do it my way” or “being difficult”. Some wanted me to ‘change’ because I don’t ‘share my thoughts enough’ or because they think I am ‘unapprochable’. The funny thing is, the people who work with me 9 hours a day, 5 days a week or my close friends, don’t seem to agree with those statements. It’s only those people who only see me a few hours, once or twice a week who made comments like that. So who’s right here?
My personal point of view, I think this is just a clash of personality differences. We all are a little uncomfortable with people who are different from us and so we start all these pygmalion projects on others. Being an INFJ, my basic makeup as an introvert is something that I can't change. My quietness is not an expression of coldness but of my sincerity and seriousness of purpose. Usually when I am quiet, that means my mind is busy at work. My withdrawal from people is not because I am stuck up but rather a necessary escape valve for me, providing both time to rebuild my depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which I am so susceptible to.
I know one trait that is easily misunderstood by those who don’t really know me is that I am often unable to either hide or articulate any distress I may be feeling. Some may get irritated over my unexplained moodiness or as some call it ‘sulking’, only because I may be going through some personal problem which I ‘didn’t want to burden anyone with’. But those who are close to me usually takes the initiative to find out what’s the problem. Though some of them advise me that I should speak out….but then again, I can’t be telling everyone my problems right? Gosh, that would even make things more depressing!
I was actually reading this personality description of Eleanor Roosevelt …and I can like so identify with her. At least I know I am not alone in this world, though there’s only 1% of this personality type, making us the most rare of all types and typically difficult to understand.
Actually there is a theory devised by some INFJs on the ‘warm fuzzy teddybear’ feel that surrounds some of the introverted intuitives. This is how others usually see the INs:
INFJ – cold on outside, warm and fuzzy on the inside
INFP – warm and fuzzy inside and out
INTP – warm on the outside, hard as a rock inside
INTJ – cold and hard inside and out
It's worth mentioning since these observations seem to carry merit, but of course you have to remember that this theory doesn't necessarily apply to all or even most INs. If some of you are curious to find out what type of personality you are, you can take the Myer-Briggs test which although is not foolproof, is one of the quite accurate ones that I’ve tried.
Lastly, 2005 will also be remembered as the year I started blogging. A great innovation for us INFJs since our self-expression comes more easily on paper…or rather in writing!
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