Skip to main content

I miss HOME!!!

Maybe it's the Christmas ambience that makes you nostalgic and makes you think of home. Maybe it's been really that long since I went back to my hometown to spend time with my family. Or maybe it's because God has set eternity in our hearts and this longing for a place called HOME....a place where we feel where we really belong, which is in Heaven, at the feet of Jesus.

I woke up this morning and just had this longing for HOME. My housemates just moved out of my house this week and so I'm all alone in the house again. I kinda welcomed the stillness and solitude after coming home to a house full of people for the past one year. Always being surrounded by people the whole day, I really treasure the opportunity to be alone and recharge my energy. And yet at times, I wished that I didn't come home to an empty house but to a house of people I love and who loved me and are glad to see me come home....especially miss my dog, Leesha.

Why this unrest in my spirits? This longing to be HOME....the longing to just worship God the whole day....I love to sing and worship Him. This weariness of the daily grind, of putting up with the commuting stress. The longing to do something I really love instead of shuffling papers everyday. Gosh, I really don't want to grow old and become a cranky old lady but the lifestyle in KL here just have a way of making people become hostile and stressed out.

Why do we pay so much for "location" when the real value of a house isn't worth that much? I love to cook and entertain, and how I wish I had a house of my own, where I can open up my house and entertain guests, for visiting missionaries/friends, for my care group. I love to make music, but hardly have the time or energy to touch my musical instruments lately. I love to pursue knowledge and learn new skills, but don't have the financial resource nor the time....FRUSTRATION!!

Daddy, how long more? How my soul yearns for Thee, to be where You are....

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Calendar boy

The long queue snaked along the walkway outside Espanda club and it was only 8pm. At the entrance the organisers were busy giving away doorgifts and free drink coupons. Behind the stage, 30 nervous young men were getting ready for the final round of interview. Inside the club, it was already jam packed with people waiting impatiently for the event to start. There was hardly any standing space left and yet people were pushing their way through to get a better view of the stage while the long queue kept getting longer outside. Finally there were lots of cheering and wolf whistles, the young men were coming out to do the catwalk. Dressed in jeans and body hugging white T-shirt with "I'm A Hunk" printed in front, to show off their muscular bodies, all 30 of them looked liked cover-guy models vying for the title of....New Icon/New Tide's latest 12 Hunks of the Year 2005. In between interviews, there was also a special presentation from our Malaysian Idol, Daniel as we...

Why so downcast O my soul?

Recently I seem to be having a few upheavals in my personal relationships and also those around me. Don’t you get the feeling that sometimes months go by without something big happening and all of a sudden it all just comes pouring upon you? Is it me or it is absolutely no fault of mine. *blinks innocently* In the past few weeks, I seem to have upset one of the most patient and sweetest guy I know…though not intentionally. I’ve apologized and tried to make things better but he hasn’t been replying my messages nor picking up my calls. Zip. Nada. Nothing. I don’t know but lately I feel like whatever I say or do, people seems to be reacting negatively or things just blows up in my face. Then my brother did a very good job in making me feel like a failure by letting me know I am not making enough to help with the family finances. It’s bad enough that I am already frustrated with the fact that I do not have the resources to get a degree or get a place of my own… or even my own wheels. Now h...

Death by Suicide

“I’m alive”, thought Veronika. “Everything’s gonna start all over again. I’ll have to stay in here for a while, until they realize that I’m perfectly normal. Then they’ll let me out, and I’ll see the outside world again.” In the second book by Paulo Coelho I have been exploring, “Veronika Decides To Die” talks about a 24 year old Veronika who seems to have everything – youth and beauty, boyfriends and a loving family, a fulfilling job. But something is missing in her life. So, one cold November morning, Veronika decides to die. She takes a handful of sleeping pills, expecting never to wake up again. But she does…in a mental hospital where she is told that she has only days to live. And as she thinks about her situation now that her suicide was unsuccessful, an inner monologue continues on in her head: “Since people always tend to help others-just so that they can feel they are better then they really are-they’ll give me my job back at the library. Since I only take sleeping pil...